Tropical Astrology Update: ♄Saturn Retrograde℞ and The ☽New Moon☾ Eclipse☰

OK Everyone!

Hands in the air! We just made it past the last of seven high voltage dueling squares between Uranus in Aries and Pluto in Capricorn. I ask that you keep your hands in the air because it isn’t over yet!

And why hands in the air?

Hands in the air can be symbolic. Like you are riding on a roller coaster with death defying drops in altitude and dizzying corkscrew thrusts that could indicate that you are having the  time of your life or that you just arrived at your local tax assessment office without having gone to lunch or  seen a good movie. And GULP! There is no lubricant anywhere to be seen. But you have on your grown up underwear and you have been working on those “spiritual abs.” Cleaning those chakras from root to crown and facing every challenge knowing that there is always a solution.

Pluto is the Planet of Social, Emotional, Financial and Karmic Debt. It is about the journey we take alone though our own private Tartarus.

Pluto is the Planet of Social, Emotional, Financial and Karmic Debt. It is about the journey we take alone though our own private Tartarus.

Why? Because “you bad!”

You have had, five years of Uranus in Aries, almost seven years of Pluto in Capricorn, their two year “square dance” (that seemed more like a dog fight) and two years of Saturn in Scorpio. So you have developed a six-pack of “spiritual abs” so know you are just like ‘f*ck it!’–It can’t get any worse than this, so I might as well do what the hell I want!


Saturn in Sagittarius has just stationed retrograde in the sky and his evil ass twin,  Saturn in Scorpio, is coming back for the rest of your busted zombie corpse derriere. And he promises to ride you right in the middle of your “spiritual abs” pilate and superfood session. Yes, I said it, make sure you bring your mental pepper spray and brass knuckles.

Sure, you have a couple of months before June 29th when Saturn crosses back into the underworld that is Scorpio. When Saturn arrives in Scorpio, he will go all the way back to the 28º making you take what will feel like an eight hour college final on everything you learned this last year!

Spoiler Alert: Everybody with planets at 28º or aspects to planets at the 28º should be extra mindful because Saturn in Scorpio won’t be back for more than two decades so I suspect he will be trying to get his “kikis!”

Saturn, “The Way Shower,” classical ruler of Capricorn and Aquarius, is the epitome of the definition “old fart.” He is known in mythology as the angel of death, the grim reaper and “The Devil” in the tarot system. He represents humanity’s mastery over their lust and temptations.  So while you may be thinking that your “spiritual abs” should give you nominal merit, the old flatulent one will merely mock you with laughter, look you in the eye and let you know that, “you barely got skin in the game.” Remember that Saturn’s association with Janus will ensure that you be evaluated on how well you handled your past and questioned about your plans for the future. Saturn will want the equivalent of spreadsheets, PowerPoint presentations and YouTube videos until you prove that you can rise to his expectation of CONSISTENT SELF-DISCIPLINE!

Agent 64's Astrolosophy


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